4-Questions to Ask If You're Overweight

A person without self love won’t eat well!

As a woman interested in how I look on the outside, I’ve researched and kept up with all the latest food, weight and health trends, only to discover how common it is to notice what’s unsuitable, awkward or odd. We focus on what’s too big or too small, what’s undesirable about our own body, while forgetting to notice what’s most attractive, alluring and fascinating.

But when we focus mainly on “what’s wrong” rather than “what’s right” we can’t improve ourself.

Do you focus more on what isn’t ‘perfect’ than what is, and wondered why? We’ve been programmed to be interested in the negative. Noticing blemishes rather than blessings has become a national disaster. On several occasions when I worked as a Nutritional Consumers’ reporter at a Los Angeles news station, I sat with cameramen in a van waiting for shots of crime, disaster or terrorism. It’s common for us to look for what’s wrong, what we dislike, what’s amiss, or even hate about our self rather than why we love our self. I know there have been times I’ve looked into a full-length mirror and realized I’m focusing on what’s wrong more than what’s right.

Most of us have far more pleasant events than unhappy ones. Yet it’s common to focus on what went wrong, rather than to celebrate success. About two years ago, my friend Joshua unknowingly parked his car in a restricted area before going out of town for two weeks. His car got towed. Joshua had to pay $750 to get it from the tow yard, and to this day, he’s never forgotten what a “waste” of money that was. Then, Joshua went to Vegas and won $750. When he mentioned his winnings, he put himself down for not covering the cost of his trip.

Radical self care leads to successful weight loss

If you promise yourself you’re going to avoid sugar for ten days, and then do it, make sure to celebrate your accomplishment. Give yourself a gift, and if you accomplish something else for another ten days, throw yourself a party. Applaud what you admire about yourself—emotionally, physically or spiritually—and you’ll be empowered to change your choices since you’ve achieved radical self care.

A Journey into Yourself (and Myself)

I’ve often heard “we write about what we need to learn about,” and that certainly holds true for me.

I noticed myself wanting to eat today—even after I’d recently eaten. All morning, I was down on myself for not yet completing a book that I’ve been writing for a very long time. And then—as soon as I began focusing on how much the book has improved and how far it has come—the hunger, the headhunger that was coming from my head went away. So, it is no accident that I’m writing about the importance of self-love today.

Is there anything that makes you think you’re not good enough; anything you’re not doing quickly enough; anything about your physical body or anything about your character that you don’t like?

Unless we accept who and where we are, it’s nearly impossible to make long-term improvements.

When we are constantly focused on not being “good enough,” we lose confidence in our ability to do anything, including eating what’s best for our body. When it comes to food and weight, self-judgement turns us into our own worst enemy.

After years of being told how much we need to weigh, according to our height, age and calculating our Body Mass Index (BMI), we believe we need to look a certain way. So focusing on our physical “imperfections” is common. Yet, even if a group of people with the same BMI range were the exact same height and age, the weight that’s best for one person isn’t necessarily “right” for the others.

You are one of a kind. Only you can decide the weight that’s best for your body!


✎ Write It

1. What have been your thoughts, feelings and experiences over the past five years in regard to weight? Your body responds to what you say, so pay attention to the messages you tell your body.

2. What do you appreciate most about your body? When answering, think about your current weight—and how you look—without referring to the stereotypical weight chart, or the widely held but fixed and oversimplified media image or idea of what your unique self “should” look like.

3. What ten things about your body do you appreciate most? Every morning when you wake up and again at night before you go to sleep, list ten things about your body that you’re Most grateful. There’s nothing that works better for shifting our attitude from gloom to bloom than gratitude. The following is an example:

  • I’m grateful for my eyesight.
  • I’m grateful that my heart beats and keeps beating without being asked.
  • I’m grateful for my strong legs that take me where I want to go.
  • I’m grateful for my hands that cook, type and feed me.
  • I’m grateful for my long hair that keeps my ears warm.
  • I’m grateful for my curves.
  • I’m grateful for my taste buds that allow me to enjoy food.
  • I’m grateful for my teeth that begin the digestive process.
  • I’m grateful for how my body knew how to create my daughter.
  • I’m grateful for how my body converts food into energy.

4. Do you need to re-language your thoughts about your body, what you eat, or how much or little you weigh? If so, list three changes in your own conversation to yourself and others about food and weight that you want to enact NOW. Then, adopt those changes for at least the next week while keeping in mind that no one is ever a victim of their circumstances.

It’s common to want to blame our parents, partners, corporations or genetics for how much or little we weigh. So in every moment, you can think of yourself as the victim of your circumstances, OR realize that you create the quality of your health, and how much or how little you weigh.

How much you weigh is not pre-determined; it’s a choice. A moment-to-moment, meal-by-meal choice we make from looking into our own heart instead of over our shoulder to see who’s watching. 

It’s the small choices you make, and the personal promises you keep or break that create change. It’s what you do most of the time—when no one is watching—the decision to approve of yourself before attempting to improve yourself, that matters most.

If you find yourself wanting to eat when you’ve already eaten, pause a moment. Shift your location and remember how unique and one-of-a-kind you are. Shower yourself with gratitude on the inside, for how many times your heart beats without being asked, and for all your organs that are working properly. Direct your attention toward the good, what you love about yourself, and see what might change on the outside. There’s always an opportunity to make a new choice, and it’s never too late!

Cheryl Sindell

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